My charm is so contagious, vaccines were created for it.
I once taught a German Shepard how to bark in Spanish.
I once went to a psychic to warn her.
I've been known to cure narcolepsy by walking into the room.
I make onions cry.
My tree house has a finished basement.
I don't give high fives; only high sixes.
I taught Hellen Keller sign language in Chinese.
Even my enemies list me as their emergency contact.
When I drive out of the car dealer ship with a new car, it doesn't lose it's value, it doubles.
My business cards just say "I'll call you"
Children check their closets for the Boogeyman, the Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris, and Chuck Norris checks his closet for me.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
(Source: closure-in-faith)
eradicati0n-deactivated20120309 asked
just kinda raped your blog.
mmm rape me moar
(Source: oliversykes)
(Source: closure-in-faith)